Life has many ups and downs. Funny quotes about life, in general, is a good tonic to find hope in distress. Make life easy by funny quotes about life in general. Do you know that having humorousness is essential in terms of social interplay?
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Funny Quotes About Life in General
I’m old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.
It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head, I’m quite busy.
Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal.
You never know what you have, until you clean your closet.
I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge.
‘Revenge’ sounds so mean, that’s why I prefer to call it ‘Returning the favor.’
I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying.
You’re born free, then you’re taxed to death.
I’ve made it from the bed to the couch. There’s no stopping me now.
Your eyes water when you yawn, because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.
Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake.
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. – Dave Barry
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain.
If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut.
Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them.
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?
I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
Not saying I hate you, but if your face was on fire and I had a glass of water, I’d drink it.
I used to have winter fat but now I have spring rolls.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. – Paul Ehrlich
Funny Quotes about Life in General
What do computers eat for a snack? Microchips.
Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything.
What is the tallest building in the entire world? The library, because it has so many stories.
What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.
If you’re hotter than me, then that means I’m cooler than you.
My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.
Why did the school kids eat their homework? Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake.
Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.
Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet miss a car payment.
Are these genes in your jeans or are you just happy to see me?
What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? Envelope.
How do you count cows? With a cowculator.
Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late. – Sam Levenson
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle.
Lazy people fact #5238532923487124214. You were too lazy to read that number.
Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.
Papercut: A tree’s final moment of revenge.
Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.
I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
You never run out of things that can go wrong. – Edward A. Murphy
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. – Charles M. Schulz
I’m not weird, I’m just limited edition.
Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad. – P.D. East
Funny Quotes about Life in General
Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.
It’s not important to win, it’s important to make the other guy lose.
I wasn’t mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I’m mad.. yes, I’m mad!
I may not know karate, but I know crazy and I’m not afraid to use it.
I don’t like morning people, or mornings, or people.
Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?
If you can’t laugh at your own problems, call me and I’ll laugh at them.
Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.
Hmmm, this text message is a little too harsh, I’ll add ‘LOL’ at the end.
I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.
Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fools you.
Exercise? I thought you said extra fries.
Get out of your head and into your heart. Think less and feel more. Osho
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.
I’m not arguing, I’m just telling you why you’re wrong.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. ‘Alright, get in the basket.’
People say you can’t live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.
What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.
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