Have you got life funny? Funny inspirational life quotes are a way to learn a lesson from other’s life and apply to your own. There might come a time on this man’s life when a person has given up all the pieces after failure with these funny inspirational life quotes.
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Talked about listed here are among the humorous motivational quotes about life by nice philosophers, numerous well-known individuals, and nice writers which can compel you to discover a strategy to work across these funny inspirational life quotes you’re going through and discover the answer to it.
Funny inspirational life quotes
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.” – Sam Ewing
“A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.” – Samuel Goldwyn
“I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they’re dead.” – Samuel Goldwyn
“I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their job.” – Samuel Goldwyn
“I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun.” – Scott Adams
“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?” – Scott Adams
“What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.” – Oscar Levant
“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” – Oscar Wilde
“Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.” – Oscar Wilde
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde
“I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde
“I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.” – Oscar Wilde
“Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.” – Oscar Wilde
“Of all the things I’ve lost I miss my mind the most.” – Ozzy Osbourne
“The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.” – Paul Fix
“To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.” – Paul R. Ehrlich
“I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly.” – Peter Cook
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller
“We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.” – Phyllis Diller
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” – Prince Philip
“Life is a sexually transmitted disease.” – R. D. Laing
“I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” – Redd Foxx
“The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going.” – Reinhard Bonnke
“If you lived with a roommate as unstable as this economic system, you would’ve moved out or demanded that your roommate get professional help.” – Richard D. Wolff
Funny inspirational life quotes
“When you’re in love it’s the most glorious two and a half days of your life.” – Richard Lewis
“The world is a globe. The farther you sail, the closer to home you are.” – Terry Pratchett
“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.” – Theodore Roosevelt
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas A. Edison
“It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.” – Thomas Sowell
“Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults.” – Thomas Szasz
“I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!” – Tom Lehrer
“Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.” – Voltaire
“I hate women because they always know where things are.” – Voltaire
“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.” – W. C. Fields
“Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.” – W. C. Fields
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.” – W. C. Fields
“We are all here on earth to help others. What on earth the others are here for I don’t know.” – W. H. Auden
“A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” – Walter Bagehot
“My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.” – Walter Matthau
“Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.” – Wilhelm II
“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” – Will Rogers
Funny inspirational life quotes
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers
“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.” – Will Rogers
“Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.” – William James
“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” – Winston Churchill
“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” – Winston Churchill
“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.” – Woody Allen
“I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.” – Woody Allen
“Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.” – Woody Allen
“Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.” – Yakov Smirnoff
Funny inspirational life quotes
“Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.” – Yogi Berra
“I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife).. but still my own.” – Si Robertson
“The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one.” – Sid Caesar
“Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.” – Socrates
“You cannot be anything if you want to be everything.” – Solomon Schechter
“If any of you cry at my funeral I’ll never speak to you again.” – Stan Laurel
“Folks, I don’t trust children. They’re here to replace us.” – Stephen Colbert
“Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.” – Steve Irwin
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin
Funny inspirational life quotes
“It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose!” – Steven Weinberg
“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” – Steven Wright
“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” – Steven Wright
“The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” – Steven Wright
“To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.” – Steven Wright
“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” – Steven Wright
“When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’” – Sydney J. Harris
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